About the Loser Whose Mugshot You See Drawn at Top

This biography of the webpage’s designer was written during his senior year in high school, a particularly bad year for him, most probably his worst of his already bad life in a small suburban town.
The author will not start off in the traditional manner and mention his name due to the volatile nature of the internet. The subject was born in New York, New York and is of German, Japanese, and Korean descent. Though it is thought that most Asians are smart, the subject does not meet this stereotype, obtaining only a 176 IQ (tested at www.mensa.org and www.iqtests.com) and a measly score of 1470 on the SAT. The author lived in New York for 10 years until he was transported to a suburban town in New Jersey, where he is currently continuing his pathetic life.
The subject enjoys doing many things, alone. He enjoys almost any food, exluding seafood, any music, especially swing and punk and especially not rap, any sport, except football and basketball, and he takes pleasure in reading science fiction and drama. Most of all, he has a fancy for all things computers. Be it programming, designing webpages, or making 3D models, his life is based around computers, further removing him from society each day.
Socially, the subject is inept, conducting himself with others and his peers aloofly, and appearing as a idiot to most. That is the reason the author has not had any girlfriends or has attended any proms, dances, picnics, or any other significant social gathering. This is the reason why the subject predicts his life to be secluded and boring.
The author who hates speaking in 3rd person will conclude later.

All HTML and Graphics Copyright 2001 Ls3.net Designs

#!/usr/local/bin/perl #################################################################### # # # SSI Text Counter # # Kastle Internet Services # # http://www.kastle.net # # kastle@kastle.net # # # #################################################################### # $ # THIS PROGRAM MAY BE USED AND DISTRIBUTED FREELY PROVIDED # # NO MODIFICATIONS ARE MADE TO THE CODE. # # # # Copyright (c) 1998 - Kastle Internet Services # # All rights reserved # # Written & Tested by Kastle Internet Services # # gatekeeper@kastle.net # # # # # #################################################################### # DISCLAIMER: # # # # In no event will Kastle Internet Services be liable to the user # # of this script or any third party for any damages, including # # any lost profits, lost savings or other incidental, # # consequential or special damages arising out of the operation # # of or inability to operate this script, even if user has been # # advised of the possibility of such damages. # # # #################################################################### require "counter.conf"; ######################################### # DO NOT EDIT BELOW THIS LINE # ######################################### $pagepath = $ENV{'DOCUMENT_URI'}; print "Content-type: text/html\n\n"; open(FILE, ">>$counter_file"); close(FILE); open(FILE, "$counter_file"); @indata = ; close(FILE); $onoff = 0; open(FILE, ">$counter_file"); foreach $temp (@indata) { chop($temp); ($uri, $count) = split(/\|/, $temp); if ($uri eq $pagepath) { $count++; $onoff = 1; print FILE "$uri|$count\n"; print "$count"; } else { print FILE "$uri|$count\n"; } } if ($onoff eq 0) { print FILE "$pagepath|1\n"; print "1"; } close(FILE);